So a moth goes into a podiatrist's office...

Discussion in 'Fan Forum - Random Thoughts' started by Juan Gris, Mar 22, 2020.

  1. Juan Gris

    Juan Gris Well-Known Member

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    A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

    The moth says, “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

    And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.”

    NOTE TO SELF: EVEN IN THESE TOUGH TIMES, THERE IS ALWAYS NORM MACDONALD.
     
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  2. DRscottrun311

    DRscottrun311 Well-Known Member

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    Fuck Norm Macdonald.

     
  3. Juan Gris

    Juan Gris Well-Known Member

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    Scrubs was a terrible show, this was a terrible post and I still love you.

    If you're still subscribed to my 311forum channel, there is a Canadian gentleman named Norm Macdonald that tells this joke the proper way jokes were meant to be told. Some could be told he is still the reason to live.

     
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  4. DRscottrun311

    DRscottrun311 Well-Known Member

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    Norm is far and away the worst comedian i have ever seen.

    I will die on this hill.
     
  5. Juan Gris

    Juan Gris Well-Known Member

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    As much as I would argue how wrong you are, I will pass that on to my Administer of Nothing @robb.
     
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  6. Tomato-Kun

    Tomato-Kun Well-Known Member

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    I will give that title to Amy Schumer.
     
  7. SoulCraftGenerator

    SoulCraftGenerator Well-Known Member

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    I’ll build a hill to kill you on for saying that
     
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  8. SoulCraftGenerator

    SoulCraftGenerator Well-Known Member

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    And for the record

    Fuck Zach Braff
     
  9. Tomato-Kun

    Tomato-Kun Well-Known Member

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    no idea who that is. But fuck him!
     
  10. SoulCraftGenerator

    SoulCraftGenerator Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha the scrubs guy
     
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  11. DRscottrun311

    DRscottrun311 Well-Known Member

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    Haven't seen her. Her specials are bad, but not live Norm bad.
     
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  12. Tomato-Kun

    Tomato-Kun Well-Known Member

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    I haven't watched much of Norm. His slow slurred way of talking is irritating.
     
  13. DRscottrun311

    DRscottrun311 Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't understand a word he said when I saw him. He might be hilarious. We couldn't tell.
     
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  14. run_for_the_sea_

    run_for_the_sea_ Well-Known Member

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    Norm MacDonald, like Joey Coco Diaz, is a funny human being, which is different from being a funny comic. My thought process watching them is like, "I can't believe this is an actual real person who is like this and has this personality."

    Like, if your expectation is comedy craft, you're gonna be disappointed, but if you're the kind of person who ends up talking to the weirdest person at the party because every other thing they say makes you think, "How the fuck did you make it to this point in your life being the way you are?" and you find that fascinating and amusing, you'll like comics like these.

    Fun fact: this kind of joke is called a Shaggy Dog Story. The idea is to basically stretch a very flimsy joke (usually an unoriginal one, a very trope-y joke, one that's become canon) to its most absurd lengths through improvisation, testing your audience's patience and attention span.
     
  15. robb

    robb Well-Known Member

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    Given that I post unprovoked "no need to shrink the margins / increase the font size" homework word count ramblings on completely innocent topics, the only way I can think of to answer this is to steer in the opposite direction.


    no fuck u
     
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  16. robb

    robb Well-Known Member

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    I do, however, object to your abridged Conan version. If you are going to dedicate a thread to this, use the book version, which does a better job of explaining the characters' motivations.

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]
     
  17. MargeInTheLargin

    MargeInTheLargin Well-Known Member

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    How in the fuck are there people hating on Norm MacDonald in here? I can see if he's not your absolute favorite comic because he does have a bit of an odd style, but that dude cracks me the fuck up.
     
  18. Shoupaloop

    Shoupaloop Well-Known Member

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    HIS DELIVERY REMINDS ME OF AUBREY PLAZA, WHO IS CRAZY BUT ALSO CRAZY HOT. COULD YOU IMAGINE THESE TWO RIFFING OFF OF EACH OTHER? CRAZY UNCOMFORTABLE. LOL I DID ALWAYS LIKE THE NORM SHOW WITH " HEY THERE WEINER DOG"
     
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  19. robb

    robb Well-Known Member

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    My favorite SNL skit of all time is the Orange Julius skit with Stallone.

    But the car crash skit is some more gold. Norm was the natural choice as the dickhead driver insulting Sly's questionable movies. Norm and Sly back and forth is so wonderful. But it doesn't work if Sly isn't willing to fully lean into the jokes that are straight up insulting some of his movies. So he always got ratcheted up in respect from me after that.
     
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  20. Juan Gris

    Juan Gris Well-Known Member

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